"Real Men Don’t Exfoliate: The Heist of Manhood & Dirty Dick’s Retirement Party"

On today’s Morning Crankers, we unleash our brand-new comedic banger “Real Men Don’t Exfoliate: The Heist of Manhood”—a testosterone-fueled anthem for the gritty, the grimy, and the gloriously un-groomed. We break down April 24th’s National Days (spoiler: still no “National Bacon-Wrapped Chainsaw Day”), celebrate Missouri leading the charge in nuclear energy (BOOM, baby!), and explore groundbreaking feline science—do cats' buttholes actually touch the furniture when they sit? The answer may scar you. We also bid farewell to Dirty Dick Durbin, who’s finally retiring, and discuss the surprising parole board support for Jelly Roll’s pardon. From the return of the military draft to the discovery of a brand-new color called OLO (sounds like a rejected boy band), this episode is jam-packed with wild stories, hard laughs, and pure Crankers chaos. 👀Tune in for:

• Our new comedy anthem, Real Men Don’t Exfoliate
• Missouri flexin’ its nuclear muscles
• Dirty Dick Durbin’s political exit
• Cat butt science
• Jelly Roll’s possible pardon
• And way more weirdness than you’re ready for!

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